Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Judged by family

Huh. So even blood relatives aren't impervious to snap judgements of my appearance. Yesterday I attempted a self-dye job to get my hair this great shade of red. On the box it looked bright red. Sort of a fuscia color. But it turned out very underwhelming. My hair was already brown. Now it's just brown and sort of red when the light hits it a certain way. So epic failure with that. But that's not the point of the story. The point of the story comes when today, I told my grandmother this over the phone. It went a little like this.

Me:I don't know why I just thought of this, but I tried dying my hair red the other day.
Grandma:(with an over accentuated tone of disappointment) Oh... Why'd you do that?
Me: 'Cause it looked like such a cool color-
Grandma:(cutting me off) It's ugly
Me: (Stunned silence) I- What?
Grandma: You're ruining your hair
Me: My hair's fine-
Grandma:(cutting me off again) You're hair is going to be so damaged if you just keep dying it
Me: It didn't even turn out. My hair's still brown from my last coloring at the salon.
Grandma: Good.
Me: (Thinking) Make up your mind, are you mad about the color or the damage to my hair?
(Saying) And I have special shampoo and conditioner for color-treated hair.
Grandma: Well, I'd hope so. You need to...

And then she goes on to tell me all the things I need to do to take care of colored hair, because she says she's been dying her hair since she was seventeen. If you're so worried about me damaging my hair with newer, more modern hair coloring, then why do you make a point of telling me you've been dying your hair since way back when when the products were total crap? Seriously, this is how you ruin relationships. Maybe I would understand if I'd gotten a tattoo of some sort of satanic symbol or if I'd decided to get real gauges instead of the fake ones I have, but it's just hair dye. And she didn't say anything about my getting all my hair chopped off and dying it brown. She even said how "gorgeous" it was. And so now I'm pissed off. My dad has a theory though, and I must say, I agree fully. When I dyed my hair brown I looked like one of her kids. But my mom's side of the family has red hair, so saying, "I dyed my hair red" made her think I was trying to look like my mom, and she can't have me turning into one of them. It's not even a naturally occurring red. But I guess "Red" wasn't descriptive enough. Either way I'm still PO'd. Big time. A friend of mine said that her grandma ruined her relationship with my friend's cousin when she got a tattoo (She's an adult) and her grandma just insulted her. I'm not even repeating the insult but seriously. Does it matter? It's the principle I'm trying to explain, and the principle is that you shouldn't judge family. In fact, if it's solely appearance based, you shouldn't judge anyone. But ESPECIALLY not family. It just goes to show that people suck. Everyone sucks at one point or another. Even sweet old Grandmas. Especially those of goth kids. *sigh of anger and disgust at the stupidity of humans today*

And just as a disclaimer: I love my grandma, I just wish she wasn't so judgemental.